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Spiritsilver and QueenFlamewing Collab
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QueenFlamewing
37- House d' Chath Alti'ui


Joined: 17 Mar 2007
Posts: 44
Location: Slinking around in the Underdark
PostPosted: Fri Mar 23, 2007 8:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Thank you, Havoc. Smile We knew there were some flubs as we did rush it a bit. And Silverspirit had to edit it to match the format in which it was to be implemented on as we never really wrote a piece for a game until this.
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"L'elamshin D'lil Ilythiiri Zhah Ulu Har'luth Jal !"
Qu'ellar d' Chath Alti'ui (House of Flame-Wing)
Llaszith thalar qu'ellar
My DA page here: QueenFlamewing
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Havoc
MERCHANT HOUSE


Joined: 17 Mar 2007
Posts: 97
Location: Wandering the Wastelands
PostPosted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 5:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Very Happy Glad to be of help! If either of you two have any other questions about writing, don't hesitate to ask!
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Spiritsilver
28TH HOUSE


Joined: 17 Mar 2007
Posts: 24
Location: Northwest Louisiana
PostPosted: Sun Mar 25, 2007 7:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Havoc wrote:

Also, most of Akordia's lines are not in quotes in the final part! I do not know if you did this on purpose or not, but I must say that it was a little annoying. Not as annoying as reading All the Pretty Horses where not a single line of dialog is put into quotes, but still. If she is comminicating telepathically, might I recommend putting these pieces of her dialog into italics.

In all, this was an interesting read. With a little polishing, and more to it, I think it could really shine.



Embarassed that might have been my fault when convertin it to html... the quotes and such were causing problems in certain areas and throwin back ? marks when ya viewed it on the site... so it wasnt intentional... just some that i missed in the html conversion... i had snagged it from that specific page b/c well i lost the original when i did a file clean up and transfer of files to the external drive on me comp...
im glad ya likey it though... Very Happy... if there was more time to make it prolly would have polished up some but we had already went past our deadline of gettin it done... one of the hardest things ive ever done... lol... again thanks for reading and for the critque... it will definitely help out in the future when i do other things like this for that site... Very Happy...
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Havoc
MERCHANT HOUSE


Joined: 17 Mar 2007
Posts: 97
Location: Wandering the Wastelands
PostPosted: Sun Mar 25, 2007 7:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Ah cool. Well... I will be offering more crits as you share stuff, if you'd like! Very Happy
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